Honesty....

I come to you today, attempting to be honest, sincere, real............ I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a mess. I love my family, friends, and church. However, I spend my life focusing on my failings....my shortcommings....the ways that I wish I could be more like someone else. I could blame it on the way I was raised, or the church I grew up in....or even the church I recently came out of (1 1/2 yrs ago), but....if I do that, I give those situations power over me and I no longer want to do that.



I have goals...........goals for me, for my children, for my husband......but I have to ask myself....are these the goals God has for us, or the goals I have set in MY mind....I think, If I'm being honest, the latter is true. I have always tried to be "all things to SOME people" while letting the truly important things/people fall by the wayside.......



"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her............."
I make sure my husband's lunch is made for work. I do my best to ensure that he has a hearty meal to come home to. Well, that's not even true all the time, I don't really do "my best" to make sure he has a meal, I just "do it"...I do it because...."I'm supposed to". I know the things that make my husband happy, but I find it difficult to do some of them.....I understand that it's not my job to be my husband's slave or door mat, nor does he expect that......But, as his wife, I am supposed to (and the "spirit" part of me wants to) WANT to be a help...a joy....pleasing...to my husband (yes, I know it goes both ways), however.....excuses and situations aside...I find myself choosing the easy things, the bare minimum, in order to "get by" while doing the things that I want to do or find important.


"She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of Idleness"
Things I seem to place as important: Keeping up with friends (facebook), checking emails, researching homeschool stuff (while not ever using most of what I find), watching movies with the kids, my 5k training, Bible Reading (not prayer....sadly).
 

"Her children rise up, and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praiseth her"
I am not attempting to focus on my failings here, only to accept my choices and to choose to do better....If I'm to continue being honest....here is where I say, my children deserve my heart, not just my actions...my husband as well. They are not getting what they are supposed to from me. I say this not to attack myself, but to admit that recently, in many forms ( preaching, christian radio, magazine articles...devotions, Bible reading, blogs and vlogs..TONS!) the Lord has been working in me to realize that I am to do "whatsoever" I do "heartily as unto the Lord". Would I do things for the Lord the way I do them in my home? That is the big question......and the answer is NO! I would not want the Lord to have to wait for an answer to a question until I finished answering a facebook notification.....I wouldn't tell the Lord "not to bug me while I'm on my daily run". If the Lord needed to spend time with me...not just wanted, but needed me, as both my husband and children sometimes do....I wouldn't ferociously guard my "me time" with a closed heart. If the Lord needed help with something...would I ask one of my daughters to go do it for me?

"Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."


These are just some of the things He has been revealing to me, not because he hates me, but because I have ASKED Him to work on me, to clean me out of "my things" and fill me with "His things" I have been getting tidbits at a time from Him....I think because He knew that getting all of this at once would shock me. The culminating factor which finally gave His plan of action came last night in church when my pastor preached a message titled: "What You Put in Your Well is Gonna Come up in Your Bucket". I think the title says it all!

 

The Lord has been putting this phrase in my mind continually: "....in her tounge is the law of kindness" I can NOT say that has been true, HOWEVER.....now that I've been honest about how I HAVE been...I can be honest about how I WANT to be! I want that phrase to ring true! I would like to fill my "well" with kindness, so that when I open my mouth, "my bucket" EXUDES kindness.....not because "I'm supposed to" but because I truly LOVE the Lord and this is what I WANT to do! Who I want to be IN HIM....

There are little steps of change within this that He has given me, although I will not bore you with them....and some of them are private...between God and me. But, as I draw closer to Him and what he has for me/my home. He is drawing closer to me....He never left! His presence is what I long for....


Getting up in the mornings has been a struggle...but it's just one of the things I've been trying to do as part of this growth process. That doesn't mean I do it all the time, and sometimes, I'm up at 5 to make hubby's lunch, I do my devotions......and go back to sleep for a bit!

Today, and in the future, I'd like to share a step or two I'm making toward "filling my bucket".

1.  I deactivated my Facebook.....not for good, just during the week....I'm not looking for extremism, just balance, and, for now, Facebook is not lending itself toward "balance" throughout the week.

2.  I'm placing prayer high up on my importance list!



I feel so hopeful today, and if I "mess up" (which I'm sure I will...im HUMAN) I'll feel hopefull again tomorrow...."His mercies are new every day" !!!!!

"Down in the Mouth"

A lot has happened since my last post!  My oldest, Raegan is now in the process of getting BRACES!  That my not be a big deal to y'all , till you realize all that goest into it.  First of all, getting insurance to cover orthodontice is like "pulling teeth" (yes, pun intended!). Also, it seems that orthodontists have fallen through that loophole that allows them to charge tons of money and not have to be regulated either!

 WARNING:  The people in this story are NOT actors, but their names have been changed to protect retarted, overcharging HACKS!

The first ortho consult with "Dr. Bellybutton Lint" (ok, it's Lintz...but I like mine better!) was interesting.  He seemed to have perfected the art of giving tons of information without ACTUALLY telling me anything I needed to know.  He kept it all very vague.  It seemed as if he wanted to leave it open enough to be able to add fees wherever possible.  His name should have been "MR CROOK".  In the end, he gave me an estimate of over $6,300, but not a confirmed estimate....it was one that "could change depending on the extent of possible further care needed"

The second consult was with "Dr. Brastrap" (ok, so it's Brazones, but , again, I like mine better!).  She was like the "Beverly Hills" of orthodontists.  She had wonderful people, wonderful facilities, and a great treatment plan. HOWEVER, she wanted well over $8,000 for care! 

The third consult was with a nice man, "Dr. Haystack" (Heyhurst!) He was terned as a "general orthodontist" If I could have gone through him, it would have been a DREAM......3500 bucks!  However, Rae's mouth was too much of a mess....it was beyond his abilities.

Now, on to number FOUR.....Dr Shoelace (NOT...Schultz....yeah, didn't do a very good job of changing names!) .  He was nice, the people were nice, and he was HONEST.....amazing!  He was also very clear about Treatment prices.  He allowed an interest free payment plan as well!  I was also notified that the first two  orthos were giving treatment additions that were not necessary!  The final cost, a little over $5,000 and that includes EVERYTHING!  EVEN, subsequent ortho needs! 

Now, we had a good consult, but we just had to figure out where the money was going to come from with one stay at home mom and a dad on unemployment.  God worked that out too!  We were able to secure an interest free loan from my mom and dad  for the amount we would need till next tax time!

PRAISE GOD!!!  He always makes a way!

Cavity City!

It's been quite a while since I've blogged.  In fact, I've only blogged one other time since I opened this blog in the fall!  Life has been so busy that I haven't had time to stop and type!  That being said, I thought I'd stop in and drop a little ditty off before I wander into the kitchen to try making sense of the mess before making another mess by baking!

Tuesday was "Dentist" day.  We have a wonderful dentist for our children. She is willing to schedule all five of our kiddos back to back so we can get it all over with on one day every six months!  If you knew my children (wonderful though they are) you'd realize what a great sacrifice that is for them! 

First up: Valerie(2yrs) She doesn't yet have full blown appointments. She is afraid to have people picking around at her teeth, so the Dentist just sits her down puts some sunglasses on her and talks to her while peaking at her teeth.  Dr. Makowski has done such a wonderful job that it looks like next time she will be able to give Valerie a full blown appointment!

During that same time, my oldest, Raegan(14) also had her appointment.  The hygienist found ANOTHER tooth that would not come out on  it's own.  Most of her teeth have been that way.  She doesn't know it yet, but, at her next apt., she has to have it pulled.

Jennah(12) and Trevor's(9) apts were pretty uneventful.  Kyle's(5), however, was NOT!  The dentist found no less than 6 cavities! 

The problem :  ME!  I have so much going on all the time that Certain things tend to fall by the wayside.  Such as reminding children to brush their teeth!  The older two have finally gotten it for the most part.  The younger three, however, are less understanding of the importance of brushing. 

I have often asked God to help me solve the children's dental issues.  However, the prayers have been related to Orthodontic care funding rather than ideas on how to get the children's teeth BRUSHED twice daily!

So, while standing in the Dentists office, feeling sad for Kyle, embarrassed that I haven't helped them keep better hygiene, and worried that I won't be able to "figure out" this problem. 

The Lord "Instant Messaged" my brain.....!  The Heavenly Father thought enough of my children to send me a little idea. 

The Idea:  Give the Children "Brushing Buddies"!  When Raegan brushes her teeth, Trevor tags along.  When Jennah Brushes hers, she brings Kyle, and I will bring ValGal!

Simple, but what a wonderful solution! 

God is ALWAYS faithful!  It isn't just in what we would call the HUGE matters of life, funerals, marriages, ...etc.....It's in EVERYTHING!  The Isaacs' song goes "If He watches o'er the sparrow, and he clothed the earth and ground.  How much more, he loves me, what a Comfort I have found!" 

To be more "Spiritually Correct" The KJV Bible says in Matthew 10: 29-31

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing ? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered . 31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows

He really DOES love us and He wants to care for our every need....IF we will let Him!

Why blog?

Hey all! I thought the best way to begin the "blogification process" (hehe) would be to explain WHY I've decided to blog in the first place.
As you may have read in my description, I am a SAHM mom of 5. I love each and every one of them dearly. Unfortunately, however, they didn't come with instructions......OR DID THEY? In the past, I have operated under the assumption that they didn't. But, as I have grown in my spiritual walk with the Lord, I have come to realize that our Heavenly Father has given us the BEST instruction book of all, HIS WORD!

Now, That being said.....someone who owns a users manual for a Chevy Tahoe doesn't become a mechanic simply because they hold it in their hand. The same holds true for me. I own a Bible, however, I am NOT Mrs. Perfect Parent! FIRST, I have to READ it, THEN, I have to FOLLOW it! I can't tell you how many times my head has hit the pillow and I have been so tired that I read the shortest Psalm I can find and expect God to bless/teach me, or how many times the Lord has taught me something, but I don't put it to use.

The following Blogs will be filled with my "Adventures" in the "ATTEMPT" at Godly parenting....Faults and all! Also, anytime I find some little goodie for schooling, or anyting else that is HURLED my way, I will share it with y'all! Pay attention to the future blogs as I frequently find websites that help too!

The new school year starts this comming Monday, and , as I homeschool, I thought there would be no better time to begin this adventure than now. So, all of you FELLOW FRAZZLED FLOUNDERING FRIENDS>.....Come join my adventure!